So...uh basically, what he was thinking of was uh, introducing a spate of outrageous new policies which not only tempt disbelief from the most ardent of Tories but also seems to fall woefully to bits after scrutiny- that of course is before he makes the equally bizarre promise of providing ‘Change’ in the ‘New (What the dickens??!) Conservative Party,’ which needless to say strikes most people as something of a colossal oxymoron , unless of course you do happen to be one of the poor, blind weasels out there who truly believe that Gordon Bear managed to single-handedly tear down the foundations of the Global economy, in addition to ruining Britain’s identity in the European market through ‘too much’ investment in public services and the of course the small matter of opening wide those hairy Scottish thighs and giving birth to Broken Britain. Did I mention that we can’t go on like this?
But just don’t mention the 80s –or Thatcher, or the war, for that matter, and you ought to do just fine. After all, despite having absolutely no experience in managing national finances whatsoever he is, like, sooo much better equipped to drag us out of the economy than Gordon Brown and despite being spawned by a party known for its class consciousness and violating the working class from behind with their giant throbbing private sector members, he is like, sooo much better equipped to address the widening gap between the rich and the poor than Nick Clegg. Duh. So, basically what he was thinking was, uh....wait a second? You didn't vote Tory - you Swine!
(Cameron punched square in the face from off-screen)
‘‘Ah, fuck...I can’t believe you’ve done this!’’
Oh, if you don't know what the hell I'm talking about, check this out:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_X6VoFBCE9k
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